Carpe Diem this Holiday Season!

Opportunities come and opportunities go.  How many times I've wondered, "what if I had gone to Berkley instead of San Diego State" or "what if I had said yes to that job opportunity."  Weighty life choices are not always easy to make.  But when the fun ones appear... Carpe Diem, seize the moment!

Courtesy Psychology Today

Being a fan of live Improv, one of the first rules at improv is don't deny.  There aren't too many rules in improvisation, but if you say no to your partner, the scene can come to a complete stop.  Why wouldn't the same hold true for opportunity?  So many opportunities happen while socializing over food and drink.

Carpe Diem.  Seize the day, boys.  Make your lives extraordinary - John Keating, a character played by Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society (1989)

All of us are fairly consumed at the moment with making the holidays just right.  Travel arrangements, cooking, buying gifts, decorating...I could go on and on.  But at the end of all the planning and execution, it's about being together.  Oh yeah... and being present.  When I'm in the "present" space and let go of a bit of control, I'm usually rewarded by unexpected moments.

This last Thanksgiving was a perfect example.  I planned enough by having all our ingredients handy and hoped all the family members would fall into their usual roles to help.  If not, that would be okay too.  Low and behold, my dad kept popping in the kitchen.  Enough reason for my mom and I put him to work.  He gave us lots of laughs making pies.  I'm pretty sure he's never had a hand in making a pie  and had we all three not gone with the flow, he probably never would have.

My husband is an ace at seizing the moment when one strikes.  Thank goodness, I'm along for the ride.  One post softball game Mexican restaurant visit, one of our friends on the team had her dad, Clive, visiting from England.  John, the extroverted one of the two of us, chatted him up and the next thing I knew Clive had invited us to stay with he and his family in the countryside of England.  And we did!  What an extraordinary experience visiting the countryside with them.  We would never have ventured off the beaten path to the steep hilled village of Clovelly, truly pub crawled or experienced a home cooked meal with such a lovely family had we not said "yes" to our scene back at the Mexican food restaurant.

Photo of Clovelly courtesy Infobritain.co.uk

This holiday season, prep to your little heart's content.  But don't forget to relax, quiet the mind, enjoy those around you and make your life extraordinary when the opportunity presents itself.

Happy Holidays!

A Kitchen Transformed - The Jury Has Reached A Verdict

Like clockwork, the city of Los Angeles called me up for jury service recently. After two short years, I was being asked to sit in judgment of another once again. While trying to sit patiently in the jury room waiting to be called to a courtroom, I reminded myself of a time when a “jury of my peers” needed to help make a determination that affected me. And I got to pick the jury!

After having renovated much of our 1905 home in Dallas, the time had arrived to tackle the kitchen. The only way to describe the kitchen would be, hideous!

After looking at these snaps, you are probably thinking we needed to have our heads examined for ever having purchased this house in the first place. Maybe so, but that’s a whole different life lesson. We actually cooked and entertained in this kitchen for two years. What generous, loving friends and family to actually consume a meal out of this sorry looking facility. But as anyone who has ever done a home kitchen remodel, the task is extremely expensive no way you slice and dice it. As the old saying goes "in for a dime, in for a dollar." Or, lots of dollars!


Being an historic home, my personal goal was to try and retain as much of the original charm and character of the home as possible. The charm in question and in dispute was the butler’s pantry. My husband, John, and I usually always come together and easily agree on the direction of a project. But not this particular project.


The butler’s pantry was a separate room that served as a hallway of sorts between the kitchen and the dining room. It had great storage, had the original craftsmanship (even though it was painted lipstick red) and made a fairly handy bar when called upon. The problem was it carved a big chunk out of what could be crafted into a fairly large rectangular shaped new kitchen space. John was quite insistent the butler’s pantry had to be sacrificed to make the new kitchen as functional as we had hoped. Of course I was just as insistent that I wasn’t going to give up the original design.

Photo of Previous Owner's Pantry...yes, really

View of the pantry wall from the kitchen

How were we going to break the stalemate? In our usual fashion, we easily agreed we needed third party intervention. So we threw a party and invited four friends who shared the same ideas about the importance of the historic district we were living in. And if a tie breaker was needed, we also had our real estate agent come over. Jury chosen, John and I agreed to live by whatever the majority agreed upon -- the final verdict. We promised no hard feelings to all involved whatever the outcome.


Each "side" had to make its case as the jury of our peers listened and asked questions to each of our points. For me, keeping the house in as near historic condition as possible was best for the house. My husband pointed out the benefits of the added space in the most important room of the house. We had points and counter-points. The jury was deadlocked in the end, a sure sign of the veracity of our arguments. Then our real estate agent who specialized in selling historic homes spoke for the first time. "Bigger kitchens make houses better sellers." The dreaded "resale value" argument!! I could see the rest of the jury sway right before my eyes.


The verdict…the pantry had to go. A few days later, it's now empty shelves, which had stocked the beverage and glassware needs of people since the horse-drawn carriage days, met the blunt end of an axe and sharp teeth of my husband's favorite electric saw. I reluctantly helped cart the carcass of my failed defense of the butler's pantry to the ever-present dumpster. I was sad (can you tell?)

John's victory rubble

With that, we set about designing what the newly shaped floor plan would look like, minus the pantry. We worked hard to create the character of a 1905 home while crafting the kitchen of our dreams. My loss turned into my gain. Take at look at these "after" pictures.

It turned out to be a spectacular kitchen, very much in keeping with the period of the home yet updated to meet today's needs. I miss this kitchen terribly to this day, especially coming upon the holidays. Thank you to my jury for nudging me in the direction I was so reluctant to take. I don’t regret at all turning over the decision on something I couldn’t see so clearly on.


Sadly, we had to sell our home just one year later. And what do you think the new buyers liked most about our 100 year-old house?